Several of the clinic’s staff went to a mumu (where they kill a pig and cook it in the ground) on Sunday after church to celebrate a young girl’s beginning of her sikmun. The girl typically wears the traditional dress of their tribe. The girl at this celebration was basically wearing a fishnet-type outfit with bird feathers in her headdress. Apparently she was very embarrassed and kept asking to wear a tee shirt. The girls in this day and time and in this region are now not accustomed to this type of dress. Presents are given to family members who have helped to raise the girl and the girl is given gifts including feminine products. The celebration began the night before and some of the men were drunk by the day of the mumu. It is probably a good thing I was not there.
Dr. Bud, Bonnie, and Wanda then took me to the home of Bennie and Frieda to spend two weeks with them so I could learn more pidgin and become better immersed into some of the culture of PNG. They have a western style home with indoor plumbing so I was not in a hut!
The Family
Bennie is part of the Asaro clan in the Highlands region of PNG. This clan consists of 10 tribes and is famous for the legend of the mudmen who were forced to flee into the Asaro River by an opposing tribe. The men from the Asaro waited until dusk before attempting to escape. When the enemy saw them arise from the river banks covered in mud, they thought they were seeing spirits and fled in fear. After that episode, the warriors of Asaro always covered themselves with mud before going to war. Not even their wives were to know that it was not actual spirits but their husbands covered in mud and wearing a mud mask.
Bennie moved to New Zealand as a young man to manage a cattle ranch. He then worked as an agricultural inspector and consultant for the PNG government before retiring. Now he is helping his sons start their coffee business, operates a small store down the mountain from their house by the road, raises pigs and chickens, and maintains a beautiful lawn. They had honey bees but the queen left so there is no more honey.
Bennie celebrated his 55th birthday while I was there. His son called to wish him a happy birthday and it made Bennie cry with all the nice things his son said to his dad. Bennie is such a good man. He told me he was glad that one day when I see him in heaven we can reminisce about me being with his family for his birthday. He said one reason we need to bring so many people into our lives here on earth is so we have people to talk to for all of eternity!
Frieda is from Rabaul in the islands. There are apparently cultural differences between the two areas and, although she has been married to Bennie for 27 or so years, she pointed out that she has not aligned herself to all the cultural ways of her husband’s tribe. Frieda was raised in a Catholic school and wanted to be a nun. She told me about her incredible salvation experience, which lead her in a different direction. She decided to attend the university and received her teaching certificate. She had hoped to become a college lecturer; however, she met Bennie along side of the road one day while he was holding onto a sheep and she had never seen a sheep. Later while in New Zealand, Bennie was praying for a wife and God kept bringing the picture of the girl beside the road to him. They reconnected a couple of years later and married. Most interesting and unbeknownst to them at the time was that the same young woman was instrumental in leading both of them to Christ while miles apart!
Frieda taught for many years including 17 years at the NTM school in Lapilo. She now helps to run the store and bakes muffins and bread in an outside round dome oven to sell in the store. Both Bennie and Frieda are strong believers and they approach marriage differently than many nationals. They are active in their church and are great witnesses to the PNG people for the Lord.
I had a good lunch conversation one day with Bennie and Frieda. They wanted to know about my job in the U.S. and that lead to the conditions of health care and eventually to Obama. They told me they had seen something on U-tube where Obama said he was a Muslim. Bennie believes that this is one more step being fulfilled from God’s Word about the end times. I would like to hear Obama's statement for myself but we can't download U-tube due to the lack of bandwidth at Lapilo.
Bennie and Frieda have one daughter and three sons. The eldest is the daughter who married a MK that she met in PNG and they now lives in Phoenix. She is expecting her first child. The second born also married a MK who he met in PNG and they now live in Australia. They have 2 children and are trying to start a business importing PNG coffee to Australia. The third child plays rugby for a Pacific Island team. The youngest has finished one year of Bible school and is working with his brother to start the coffee import business (on the PNG side) before starting his mechanical engineering studies at the university. All the children attended the NTM school in Lapilo.
It is interesting to listen to Frieda talk about how all she wants for her children is to first walk with the Lord and then to be happy. This must be the universal desire of all mothers. She told me about when her daughter wanted to get her ears pierced so they had to ask Bennie. Bennie’s reply was that Frieda’s ears were not pierced when he met her and they were still not pierced. Is this déjà vu or what? It is just about the same conversation that occurred in my house when Elaine and I wanted to get our ears pierced. Just like my Mom, Frieda had to talk her husband into letting her daughter get her ears pierced. By the way, both my Mom and Frieda also got their ears pierced.
Their 19 year old niece, Sarah, was staying with them for the two weeks I was there. She went to school here in Asaro, finishing the 10th grade. It is required to pay school fees here so many students are not able to complete all 12 years. Her mother and she now live in Kinantu near SIL (Wycliffe). She has a very sweet and humble spirit and is a very hard worker. I am amazed at all that she does both inside and outside the house. Frieda told me she has spent a lot of time training Sarah so she will be a good wife or be able to get a job in town.
They have an “adopted son,” David, who is from another tribe but lives on their land. He helps with the pigs, mows the yard, and many other things they request of him. Frieda told me that none of the children (all boys) in his family are married and his family believes it is because someone has put a curse on them. He is a very sweet young man as well and has become quite attached to Bennie and Frieda. He is not a believer but they are witnessing to him.
Learning Pidgin
Frieda has a wonderful laugh and we had a great time as teacher and student, although my brain was in overload most of the time. I was a little embarrassed on the first day of class because a huge hornet began swarming around my head and I asked Frieda to kill it for me. The hornet kept trying to land on my hair and Frieda said he was after something new. Turns out she is as skittish about insects as me but she said one of us had to be strong. Her husband thought it was quite funny that she was the strong one.
My classroom was the beautiful outdoors. We sat on their covered patio which looks out onto one of their wonderful gardens. I saw many fascinating varieties of butterflies and flowers and it was a very relaxing place to be. In fact, a couple of days went by before I went down the mountain to their store and I saw a PMV (public motor vehicle) with about 40 people on the open bed. I was then reminded that I am in PNG!
The letter “i” is used as a predicate marker in pidgin but “i” is pronounced “e.” I mispronounced it every time for about a week and Frieda told me she was going to fail me in the course because of this one little letter! I was just about ready to start a nation-wide campaign to pronounce it as “i” when I finally got the hang of pronouncing it as “e.”
I had an oral test on my third day of class. I really didn’t think I did very well but Frieda seemed satisfied. I think she was being easy on me. At that point I was doing pretty well translating written pidgin to English but not vice versa. That third day I got really confused and started translating English into Spanish (and I remember very little Spanish)! About a week into the class I began dreaming, not in pidgin, but that I was translating English to pidgin!
Frieda had an appointment at Lapilo with Dr. Bud my second week there, so I was able to go home and pick up some things I needed. My allergies were bothering me and I needed some eye drops and nose spray. My eyes were swelling and I had to sit on my hands so that I would not scratch them. I also needed some water. Frieda’s family drinks rain water rather than the river water, but I was told that I should still drink bottled water. Cholera is still going around PNG but there have been only three confirmed cases in the Eastern Highlands Province where I am. It was good to be back at Lapilo even for a few hours. They seemed to be impressed with my pidgin.
As the class progressed, the sentences became more complex and I continued to struggle with all the grammar rules and vocabulary. We covered a lot of material (all 14 units in the book) and I really didn’t have time to dwell on what I learn one day before the next day began. It is hard to understand the locals when they speak too quickly or too quietly which is common. It is easier to understand the English speakers who speak pidgin because they say much simpler sentences. I do okay when I have time to think before I speak but a few of the locals have gotten impatient. I have a work meri starting when I return to Lapilo who will spend an hour a week with me so I can continue to practice. There is also a conversational class at Lapilo that I hope to attend as well.
On my last day of class, Frieda had me write my testimony in pidgin and she helped me to improve the structure of the sentences. I was able to read it to Jahn and Julie when they came to pick me up to take me back to Lapilo.
Frieda and I celebrated the end of my class with Oreos, Sprite, and a DVD movie!
Cultural Immersion
I watched my first TV since coming to PNG during my first evening at their house. There is one station, EMTV, in the country but it is actually owned by an Australian company. Occasionally there is a PNG station being aired. EMTV has a variety of shows from PNG, Australia, and the U.S. We watched the Aussie version of 60 minutes. One of the segments was about the 16 year old, Australian girl who sailed around the world. I can’t imagine a 16 year old being mature or stable enough to make that journey. Next we watched the Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood but the power went out 10 minutes before the movie was over!
Black outs were very common during my two weeks with Bennie and Frieda. It was so dark there at night that I literally could not see my hand in front of my face. We had several dinners by candlelight and went to bed early on those nights. I did bring my Kindle and reading light so I could read in bed. They do have a generator but only ran it for a short while each night to save on fuel. Although they have indoor plumbing, they use rain water so they are careful to conserve water. So, I learned how to take a bucket shower. You are given one bucket of water and too bad if you are still dirty after all the water is gone!
We took several field trips so I could experience the culture and practice my pidgin. The first trip was to the local village school for grades 3 through 9. There are two classes per grade with a total of about 300 students. There is a separate school for 1st and 2nd graders nearby. Grades 10 through 12 go to the high school in Goroka. It was sports day that afternoon so we saw them playing volleyball, touch rugby, and soccer. A very nice teacher showed us around. He and his wife are both teachers, live on the school’s property, and have a beautiful baby girl. There are four couples living on the property and they have their own garden.
I was able to practice my pidgin a little but they all know English. They use English when teaching the students. It is mainly the older and those who have not gone to school who do not speak English. The school is a Lutheran school but the government buys most of the furniture and the Rotary Club has purchased some things for the school as well. The younger students have the nicer chairs and tables for their desks. They told me that was because the older students would not take care of the furniture. There were two old computers in their computer lab. It was strange to see the headmaster smoking in his office.
Our second trip was with a friend of Frieda’s, Juni, to go to her garden. Most vans in PNG have benches along the sides in the back of the van so the passengers face each other. Juni’s mom was sitting across from me and, when we stopped to let her out of the van, she reached over and pulled a live chicken from under my seat! I was a little shocked to find out there was a chicken underneath me. It didn’t seem odd to them at all.
After the van dropped us off, we walked quite a distance past many gardens that belong to Juni’s family until we got to her garden. The area is absolutely beautiful. I saw where they are growing corn, sweet potato, onion, banana, papaya, and carrot. I also saw a small pit pit plant. This is the plant they use to weave the walls for their huts. I was able to go inside my first hut. It was a round pit pit hut with a kanui roof. Kanui is a strong grass (similar to our Johnson grass). If the hut has a metal roof, it is called a kapa hut rather than a kanui hut. There were about 3 small shelves with dishes on one side and then a large bed mat on short posts with curtains dividing the sleeping area of each person. The cooking area was in the middle of the hut. It was very smoky but they told me the smoke helps to preserve the roof. The hut I went into belonged to one of Juni’s paternal uncles (smolpapa). If he were a maternal uncle, he would be called kandere.
Juni was quite shocked that I was not married, especially when she found out my younger sister is married. It is the custom here that the girls are married in order of age. Frieda told me she was sure that Juni would ask her later about the fact I am not married. Juni is missing her left, little finger down to the first knuckle. Frieda told me that you will see women here who cut off their fingers when something bad happens to them. Typically the younger girls are not following this tradition but Juni is only 27.
Juni’s husband is the region manager for the Asaro government. That afternoon Frieda and I went to Goroka with Juni, her husband and son, and some of her husband’s officers. It was fortnight Friday (payday) so there were lots of people in town. NTM missionaries do not usually go to town on fortnight because it is very crowded and there are typically lots of people drinking after dark. That to say I generally can spot the people with me because they would be one of the few whiteskins in the store. That wasn’t the case today. I was the only whiteskin I saw in town. Juni and Frieda finished their shopping before me and went back to the van. When I got to the van where the men and Juni’s small boy had stayed, they told me the little boy got concerned because he thought for sure they had lost me.
As we approached the local vegetable market, there was a group evangelizing across the street and a fight was breaking out at the entrance of the market. At first they were not going to let me get out of the van but then it was determined the fight was between two women and did not last very long. The joke became that there are not enough men in PNG so the women were fighting over one man. Anyway, I was able to get out and walk with Frieda and Juni. When we got back to the van one of the officers was no longer with us and, when I asked where he went, they told me the women had got him. They had a great time joking.
The area close to the market is where one of our NTM doctors was stabbed last year when a man tried to steal the purse of one of our receptionists. One of attackers pulled a gun on one of our very petite nurses after she jumped on his back and then the doctor was stabbed because he intervened. Two local men helped the missionaries and, because they helped, it is customary they would ask for compensation. A compensation meeting is held with negotiators to determine the amount to be paid. We have had at two such meetings since I have been here. One was when the couple had the serious car wreck and the second was when one of the missionary’s dogs scratched a national’s daughter who was playing with the missionary’s children. I guess it is cheaper than going to court. Although they do take some cases to court in this country.
Our third trip was to a small market beside the highway near Frieda’s house. They knew many of the people there and Bennie told me that “all eyes are on you.” I practiced my pidgin and bought some seasoned peanuts. Frieda bought some vegetables and showed me the difference in the sweet potatoes that humans and pigs eat.
Our fourth trip was again with Juni to the Asaro hausik (hospital). I saw the maternity ward, the immunization room, and the inpatient ward. They had wooden slat beds and the patients bring their own mattress. The scale to weigh the children hung from the ceiling with a fish net attached. There was a sign stating they have no gas for their ambulance so patients are to find their own way to the hospital. They have nurses 24 hours a day but no doctors. If there is a serious problem the patient has to go to Goroka. I was told the government does allocate a lot of money to the national health officer but it never seems to find its way to the local communities.
We then went to the Asaro government station where Juni’s husband works and where they live. There was a grand stand on the grounds where they hold important events. It has orchids growing on top, which I have seen this on several houses. It is a way they decorate the buildings. There was a longlong man (crazy man) who yelled at me for taking pictures. First he said I could take his picture but then he said I had to buy it. Juni said not to pay him any attention because he was a longlong man. She said it quietly but he heard her. He began yelling at her telling her he was going to sue her for saying he was crazy and all of the Asaro people would sue her because she said they were all crazy (which she did not say). He told her she could not come into the station area but she told him her house was there. We walked on and he left.
We sat behind her house until Bennie came to get us. There was a mountain behind her house and she had a small garden in her yard. There were at least 10 different types of butterflies in her yard, including a big blue luminescent butterfly which was absolutely beautiful.
Our fifth trip was unexpected and wonderful. We went one night to the church Bennie and Frieda attend. They are building an outhouse (currently there is not a toilet), an outdoor stage, an outdoor cook area, and a place to serve the food. The church runs a grammar school and they are building a new building for the school. Next they want to improve the road that leads to the church.
The moon and stars were absolutely beautiful and as we walked around I looked to the mountain range that was covered in a light mist and just shined in the bright moonlight. There was such serenity about the place! My favorite memory was sitting inside the pastor’s hauskuk (kitchen) with five PNG women and one sleeping baby. The kitchen was a round hut with a fire pit in the middle of the hut on the ground. One half of the hut had a large wicker mat about 2 feet off the ground where people could sleep if they wanted. The other half was an open area where they could sit. (I just had to ignore the roaches running around.)
It was a very special and sweet time with the women and I felt a great honor being there. They allowed me to practice my pidgin and were very kind. They got a big kick out of me relaying the story about the longlong man. One lady told me that I was doing very well with my pidgin for being here such a short time and that soon I would be fluent. She said I need to next learn the Asaro tok ples (native language) and then I could not go home but would have to stay with them in Papua New Guinea. I felt a very special connection with them. Frieda told me later that they also felt comfortable with me and that many times expatriates and some missionaries intimidate them. I knew it was Jesus they were seeing in me and that made me very happy!
When Jahn and Julie came to get me, we went with Bennie and Frieda to Daulo Pass Summit which is the highest point in the Highlands that you can reach by road. The altitude is 8,130 feet. The landscape is magnificent but the highway at one point is only one lane because the second lane has completely washed down the side of the mountain. It was a pretty scary site! It has apparently been in this condition for about a year. There were elderly men and women and young children selling flowers at the top of the summit. Jahn bought an arrangement on a stick to decorate our vehicle. Frieda bought me a wreath to put around my hat.
Bennie, Jahn, Julie, and I went later that day to the river that ran through some of Bennie’s family land. As with custom, he took some food to the oldest man living on the land. We drove as far as we could and then it was about a total of a mile’s hike to and from the river through tall brush. They found some sugar cane about half way to the river and we took a break to chew on it for awhile. It was sweet and to my surprise actually cooled us.
Crossing the swift river was a challenge and the two white ladies (especially this white lady) had to be helped. The nationals knew exactly how to maneuver through the water. There were people fishing, children swimming, and others panning for gold. They dug relatively shallow holes and put the dirt on a trough they had built to act as a sieve. Water was poured over the trough to separate the dirt and the rocks. The filtered dirt was then placed into a pan and rinsed many times to collect the small pieces of gold. We watched and helped a little. On the hike back from the river we passed the old man to whom Bennie had given the food. He had picked three kaukau (sweet potato) and was going to cook them for us. It was such a kind gesture, but we unfortunately did not have time to dine with him.
The Food
My first evening Frieda served 6 people using fried rice, 3 small carrots, 10 beans, onion, garlic, and ginger. She also made some Maggie noodles (similar to Ramen noodles) and cut up avocado. We all had enough to eat! Most evening meals consisted of kakaruk (chicken), kumu (any type of greens), and kaukau. For lunch we would eat tuna or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with pineapple or avocado. I brought cereal to eat for breakfast. Some cereal here is just over $8 US a box. You can get small boxes of off-brand cereal for just over $4 US a box.
I was treated to a couple of traditional styles of cooking. The first was mambo cooking which is cooking inside a bamboo cane. Sarah made it by gathering various leaves from plants and trees around the property and mixing them with kakaruk and mutton, onions, ginger, and garlic. The mixture is wrapped in a large leaf, stuffed inside the bamboo, and then cooked over an open fire. Frieda boiled taro, kaukau, and banana. (There are two types of bananas here – one for cooking and one for eating fresh.) She covered the boiled food with creamed coconut. We also had popo (papaya).
The second PNG eating experience occurred on Bennie’s birthday. Frieda, Sarah, Juni, and Zamila (Juni’s daughter) prepared a feast. Of course there was kaukau but they also prepared corn cooked on an open fire, and barbequed kakaruk and kakaruk sausage. The most interesting dish was prepared using a method common in Frieda’s region of the islands. The method is called aigir. First Juni broke open about six coconuts using the back side of a bush knife and Zamila sat on a small bench that had an attached tool to scrap the meat from the coconuts. Next they creamed the coconut meat by adding a small amount of water to the scrapped meat and squeezing the coconut through a piece of burlap to release the milk. Then they placed hot stones from the fire into a bucket of water and then into the coconut cream to boil it. Large leaves were placed on top of the boiling milk and kakaruk with spices was added. Various types of leaves gathered from the property were wrapped in larger leaves and placed on top of the chicken and more hot stones were added. Very large leaves were used as a lid to cover the food so it would cook. They actually put a real lid on top of the sauce pan in addition to the large leaves. In the times of Frieda’s mother before they had sauce pans, they used huge leaves on the bottom and top. The hot stones steamed the food without the use of fire. It was served over rice.
My contribution to the celebration was decorating the haus win (a large, unattached covered porch) with balloons and making a chocolate cake, which is Bennie’s favorite dessert. The guests included Juni’s family and one of their friends along with Bennie, Frieda, Sarah, David, and me. Benjamin was in Goroka and did not get back in time to eat with us. In fact, he was in town buying a black forest cake for his dad. He did not know I had baked a cake so we ate cake all during my second week!
All in all, these two weeks were a wonderful experience of a lifetime. I made some true friends in the Lord and learned so much from them. I can’t wait to tok save with our patients and neighbors around Lapilo!
"Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6
Shirley Falls - Connecting You to Tribal Missions in Papua New Guinea
